phases & routines

18 May 2010

i’ve been thinking a lot about phases & routines lately. i’ve been reading about and trying to practice mindfulness on a more regular basis and this has made me stop and examine myself and the phases/routines that i’m in. for example, one day, i’m going to hear “heart of gold” by neil young on the radio, and i’m going to think back, wow, that reminds me of my first year as a school psychologist, driving to work with the sun in my eyes. or driving between schools, or home from school, because let’s face it: that song & this song are on repeat in my car (thankyouverymuch emily). if i look a few months back, in the movie of my life, i see myself listening to “the most beautiful girl in the room” over & over & over again (and rewinding/fastforwarding to certain parts of the song just because they make me laugh out loud). i can’t necessarily identify what shifted, but i know that when i think of these songs, there are two distinct phases that go with them.

music is funny like that. it brings you back, and i think that for me, it makes me appreciate the little moments even more. i think of the time that i sat on my grandmother’s chair in bloomington illinois and listened to night moves 84 times in a row. just thinking. thinking.

there are songs to go with all of the phases. and then there are the phases themselves. will i always go to tuesday night yoga? right now i feel like i will, but someday, life will change, and i won’t. or someday, i’ll look back and think, you were just in a p90x stage. or will i always be as obsessed with blogland as i am right now, with my google reader having 100+ articles to read daily (cannot miss this, or this, or this, or this, or this, just to name a few). i still remember the first blog i ever read, and how it wasn’t that long ago. the ritual or tearing off a paper chain won’t last forever; drinking out the solid plastic straw probably won’t last forever. sunday night movies might just be a phase, and crocheting might just be a phase, just like it seems sewing was last year.

i’m just noticing more.

it’s making me appreciate things so much more. the routines, the phases, i just want to remember everything.

everything.

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