about TODAY

7 April 2009

so last thursday (last entry) i had one of the best days ever. i didn’t really leave the house, and i made things all day. it was fantastic.

then there was friday, where i was in a mood. it was lame. and i wish i could say that i didn’t recognize that person, but i did, all too well. i want her to go away. i really, really want her to go away. i’ll keep thursday sarah and say goodbye to friday sarah.

and then there was the weekend, where i felt hated. probably partially due to friday sarah. i tried to make up for it, but i dont think i did.

i was excited to go back to work after spring break. to see the kids, to see the co-workers. it was great to see most of them. for the most part, everyone did ok. not everyone, but most.

and then it began.

this whole being-an-intern thing with no real authority or power is gnawing at me. i don’t feel like i’m a part of my “team.” i don’t feel wanted, or welcome. i feel talked down to, like i’m the 13th 8th grader with behavioral/emotional problems. and it continued and got a lot worse today. a LOT worse.

tonight’s solution?:
the hills & teaching myself to crochet.

i’m like a teenager and a little old lady, rolled into one.

i’m aware of the contraditions.

then again:
i’ve always been a walking contradiction.

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